If your partner has OCD, it’s possible you enjoy the fact that your partner likes to (1) plan events way in advance, (2) keep the place tidy and clean, (3) asks for your opinion a lot, and (4) relies on you for big decisions. That’s all it is. Hi Paco and thanks for the comment. Our head is such a scary place at times! I confessed something previously to him, and something else came up that I felt the need to confess, so I feel like confessing would only make me worse. Communicate clearly, positively, and non judgmentally with your friend. That gave me the relief I needed. However, yes, I know that the urge to confess such awful thoughts and/or inner dialogue (that does indeed torment a person with OCD) is so strong, but what purpose does it really serve? I ran back up the stairs to her, grabbed her hands tightly, and said very seriously, "The world is ending, and it's all my fault." There are real, accessible ways to take care of yourself, even as you help your partner get the help he or she needs. This is something I’ve been trying to control recently. × my boyfriend) then it's a vicious circle. If I think about my ex, I tell him. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle. It often manifests itself in different forms that make it difficult for me to easily discern what's going on. Honestly, all my confessing is getting out of control. Besides, not one ounce of thought can change the past all you can affect is today. This bout of anxiety/OCD came up out of nowhere a few months ago for me. So let it be a lesson learned and move on. 2 weeks ago, by Mekishana Pierre The worries drive me insane sometimes. I had recently read an article about adults needing eight hours of sleep, and every second I was awake was another second I wasn't getting the sleep I needed. In some ways, I'm able to channel it for good. 4 weeks ago, by Chanel Vargas I had confession OCD when I was a teenager and it was awful, I had to tell my parents anything I’d done that i felt might have been remotely wrong. I read somewhere that OCD and confessing can be some of the most painful mental health problems, my friend who had Pure O also confessed to me and it made me lose contact with him in the end but this was mainly to do with the mental health problems I was experiencing at the time. On the day of my appointment, I walked into the specialist's office fully prepared to leave feeling no better. It is so difficult and seems like a simple enough task but it’s hard! Log in to Reply. Oh, and I got strep throat a second time. Try delaying doing your compulsion. After a month of ignoring the welling anxiety, I hit bottom again. Since then I have been reading about it (I should have read a long time before), and I see some symptoms in myself. @Chels I relate to this a lot so can sympathise. I may never truly be rid of it, but I can learn to live with it. But you’ve got to have faith in yourself and be ok with sitting with the anxiety without confessing. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. In the week leading up to my appointment, I felt worse than ever. I have OCD that comes in episodes with varrying themes. That’s all. I felt this urge/compulsion like i had to confess my most shameful secrets to the ones close to me, else i would be a bad person. And it is scaring me. I work out at least five days a week, and I try to eat a diet that doesn't consist solely of hot Cheetos and lemonade. I feel like if I have any weird thoughts, it means i'm a weird person, or something's wrong with me. You’ve got the benefit of that knowledge now, now it’s up to you to get yourself over this. I walk a fine line every day: I utilise my OCD as a way to feel like I have control over my life, but I must avoid becoming a slave to my own thoughts. I ran downstairs in the dead of night, heading for the front door. I try to ignore them when I start to feel guilty about things but sometimes that doesnt work and I confess. The NIMH website goes on to state that obsessions can manifest in different ways, such as, "fear of germs or contamination, unwanted forbidden or taboo thoughts, aggressive thoughts towards others or self," while compulsions can include "excessive cleaning and/or hand washing, ordering and arranging things in a particular, precise way, compulsive counting.". 3 days ago, by Samantha Brodsky Courtney E. Ackerman, MSc. Most posts on here are in essence reassurance seeking. I hope one day I can learn to control this. The cycle I began in 2001 had started all over again, just with a different person. At the time I didn’t have a clue it was OCD, and I really wish someone could have told me as it ate me up for years. But am I a horrible person for not confessing? Confession OCD is almost just like confessing to an almighty power. When I learned what intrusive thoughts were, I immediately recognised them as what I had going through my mind any time my brain wasn't intently focussed on a specific task. OCD is a complex and harmful disorder, and it can be confusing when you're wondering how to help a friend. It may even be one of the reasons you fell in love with your partner in the fist place. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. This continued on and off for years, my brain deeming certain things "bad" and other things "good." I was inconsolable for about 24 hours. My skin felt itchy, and I didn't know why. Put on a different pair of pajamas. I don't know if anyone has any advice on that one. I'm happy to share that I'm only showering once a night, and I'm sleeping just fine. Accepting the uncertainty of the future is the essential step in the treatment of OCD. Thanks again everyone! More importantly: what are the treatment options? The longer I waited the worse I felt. Its tiring when trying to just talk to people, especially those who are unfamiliar with it. Oh, and I’m not seeking reassurance. Tell yourself you won't confess for an hour. And trying to figure out the “correct” answer is one of the most prominent OCD symptoms. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. They may, for instance, be obsessed with the need to prevent some imagined ‘disaster’. I feel myself slyly getting it in to the conversation without actually saying it! I was the same at a young age I confessed everything and I didn’t realise up until I was 19 that it was OCD I always thought I was just weird! Display as a link instead, × So I can truly sympathise with what you’re going through. Here is how to be supportive and helpful. When your partner is diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, it can be difficult to give full attention to the challenges it presents for you. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Copyright OCD-UK 2004-2019 Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease his or her distress. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Frankly, for OCD sufferers, ERP is terrifying to even think about. I know that when big changes occur in my life, I should expect my OCD to pop up, which makes it scary to think about the future. Just stop. I felt guilty, and I didn't know why. Only this time it didn't work right away. Then I threw up. Nick D'Ambrosia. My anxiety was crippling, and my therapist had me taking anxiety medication three times a day just to ease the constant tension I was feeling. It wasn't until 16 years later that I would learn that "confessing" is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which I was diagnosed with at age 27. It felt like my body was burning from my toes up, and I felt physically unable to move. This anxiety can be confused with or transferred into feelings of guilt easily, especially if it doesn't have any readily identifiable source. I immediately felt better after confessing to my mom. And I know exactly what I’m doing I literally can’t help myself it’s driving me insane! Thinking it could be related to bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist referred me to a specialist. But in other ways, I have to be careful. For me, the therapy meant acknowledging my thoughts or even saying them out loud, without trying to push them out of my brain. I knew that by confessing to a priest you were absolved of your sins, but I didn't have a priest on hand, so I did the next best thing, which was to confess to my mom. Figuring all of this out was reassuring, but it didn't fix everything. I am currently 20. If I had done a "bad" thing, I would need to tell my mom. Getting married, getting pregnant, having my first child — these are all things I'm both equally excited and terrified about. Then Consider These 10 Small Goals For a Healthier 2021, I Started Taking a Walk Every Morning, and Now I'm More Focussed and Productive, Why Sleep Is More of A Struggle For Women, Especially During COVID-19, Let This University Professor Explain to You Exactly How a New Strain of COVID-19 Can Mutate, After a Trying Year, There Has Never Been a Better Time to Do Dry January, Tips to Help You Live a Happier, Healthier Life. Please someone point me in the right direction of making me stop before I drive my boyfriend away forever . I started participating in ERP, or exposure response therapy, which helps OCD sufferers by slowly exposing them to the things they fear. I finally had an answer for what was wrong with me, which meant I could finally do something about it. I've had to start out with the obsessions and compulsions that scare me the least, and I'm still working my way up to the ones at the top of the list. When that didn't work, I tried telling my boyfriend. In the week leading up to my appointment, I felt worse than ever. Fear of confessing to crimes (that one did not commit) ... My ex boyfriend has OCD. Hi, it sounds to me as if you have a touch of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I am getting better as I get older but it does get hard xx, @dimmerswitch hi thank you for your reply, no your totally right. Do you have OCD? I spend a lot of time in my own head, so learning how to navigate what goes on inside of it has been paramount to living the closest thing to a normal life that I can muster. I have an anxiety disorder with mild OCD. Sorry if I've not been as helpful as other posters - reaching out moreso to say you're not alone in this and I hope that helps in some way. That time, I was able to fall asleep. You can slow things down and you can stop. Clear editor. Upload or insert images from URL. Guilt is a huge part of OCD, so much so that confessions can include saying things that one might have even done. , @PolarBear it’s a lot easier said that done but it HAS to be done I don’t really have an option. It’s so much easier said than done I tell you! I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. But it all makes sense now. It's time for you to tell the OCD you are human, you are forgiven, and guess what I am not going to think about this anymore. What causes them? It is OCD and confessing is a compulsion. from the top of the stairs. I did talk to my partner about it. It’s something that my current boyfriend really struggles to understand. You're obsessing and by confessing it's like a compulsion to relieve your anxiety of obsessing. Sometimes OCD develops after the death of a loved one. When you want to help someone with OCD, you need to know what it is first. It’s a short sense of relief each time. When I told my therapist I thought I was experiencing insomnia, she helped me realise this behaviour was also related to my OCD. 4 weeks ago, by Mekishana Pierre I put on a different pair of pajamas, got in bed, and immediately fell asleep. You stop by stopping. It’s difficult! Not the typical anxiety I battled on a weekly basis, but something different. Write it down 10 more times and mark the level of anxiety again. Hope PB doesn’t mind me expanding on this? × And don’t forget that yourself either, what happened today is the consequence of doing a compulsion and nothing more. It won’t be easy, as with any form of OCD. I'm not in therapy, I'm not participating in ERP, and I am currently not on medication, although I do have a prescription for Xanax, which I take if I'm having a massive panic attack or really bad anxiety, which I haven't had in a long time. My hands were sweaty, I had a huge lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. Powered by Invision Community. Thank you, @Doubt_It hi and thanks so much for your reply. It sounds like such a simple task ‘just keep it to yourself’ but it’s so difficult. I had hosted a Halloween party a few months before, and my friends and I had visited a chat room while using my mom's work computer. I would have to say to remember that your boyfriend isn't a therapist and some things should only be talked … Skip to content. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. I just really struggled with confessing it’s such a Huge thing for me and I have always always sought reassurance throughout life so it’s getting out of that ! He broke up with me because of his worries. You know what happens to me a lot. More importantly: what are the treatment options? It's helped me be better at my job, and it definitely helps me keep my house clean. So if you write it down and it's 100 write 100. I decided to take another shower, thinking it might help. I’d confess something then feel so relieved until an hour later something else popped into my head that I thought needed to be confessed. I graduated, my then boyfriend (now husband) moved away, and I started job searching, all within one weekend. Home; Blog; Store; Team; Contact; Log In; Home; Body & Brain; What Are Intrusive Thoughts in OCD & How to Get Rid Of Them? Even though most people are to some degree are weary of the cheating in the relationship, this OCD fear goes above and beyond that. OCD affects every aspect of my life, like how I complete my work, when I have sex, when I take a shower, and how I clean the bathroom. OCD will always make you question everything. Running through a few hypothetical examples can help illustrate the various f… A little over a year ago, I was lying in bed and couldn't sleep. Thinking it could be related to bipolar disorder, my psychiatrist referred me to a specialist. I don’t know why my boyfriend … You cannot paste images directly. I felt like the anxiety was taking root inside my body and I needed to get it out. By It used to happen just once in a while, but it’s happening all the time now. I rinsed off, turned off the shower, and grabbed a towel to dry off. The compulsion often goes up when levels of distress are high and/or when the person feels unable to tolerate uncertainty. It’s ocd. I was experiencing what felt like a mental breakdown, and it wasn't pretty. Marianne Eloise explains how coming to terms with dying has helped her condition. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle. Skip to content. Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome thoughts that enter your head and cause distress. It's hard though - I feel quite alone in that I can't really talk to anyone about what I'm feeling, but at the same time I guess that's the paradox if that I do talk to people (ie. 1 week ago, by Nikita Charuza I've learned to listen to what I need, and right now what I need is a break. Psychology and Mental Health Forum. . This did not make me a popular person to invite to seventh-grade sleepovers. You can post now and register later. I completed the same ritual, drying off in the exact same way, and I grabbed my third pair of pajamas. Come on, you’ve got this! ERP required that I purposely not complete my rituals, allowing myself to stay up all night rather than take that second shower I so desperately felt I needed. Best advice I’ve heard. 3 weeks ago, by Sarah Wasilak The second I mentioned confessing to her, she stopped me and said, "I think what you're experiencing is OCD." I have to be strong and keep implementing this and continue to put this in place. My boyfriend had suggested I get tested for ADD, because he would often be in the midst of a conversation with me when it became blatantly apparent that I hadn't heard a word he had said. Would confessing be giving into my OCD? If so, go ahead. You can always explain that testing like this is a common feature of OCD. It wasn't that I wasn't paying attention; I was just battling the latest thought that popped into my head and turning it over and over in my brain. Remembering what had worked the night before, I got out of bed and began the same ritual: shower, towel off left arm, right arm, left leg, right leg, back, front. I couldn't manage to think of anything I had done recently that would push me to feel so guilty, so I started racking my brain for past misdeeds. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and/or behaviours (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over." The guilt goes for a little while, before it hits hard once again with yet another thought to feel guilty about. They are uncontrollable and difficult to push out, which usually leads to OCD sufferers trying to "neutralise" the thought by completing a compulsion. My OCD has caused so many problem in previous relationships I need to change something otherwise I’m never going to be happy. Participating in ERP has definitely helped, but it's a long process. Thinking I must have done something wrong, I got back up and showered for the third time that night. If the person posting doesn’t agree with the response, which should always be, “it doesn’t matter, it’s ocd - stop”. If you are a Christian, anything you have done has been forgiven and forgotten from God(as far as the East is from the West). It won’t be easy, as with any form of OCD. Those that don’t have OCD can’t get their heads around why it’s so hard for us to keep things to ourselves and not worry. Hell, if you experience that way, and really do have to confess to God (or any other being) obsessively, I guess in some sick way you could be considered lucky for looking normal. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. Dave-October 18th, 2016 at 11:46 am none Comment author #167 on Feeling guilty about past events by OCD Life. Does this just take practice? You stop by stopping. When you write it down the first time, mark your anxiety on that scale. So I did what 11-year-old Renee would do and started searching for any reason I could be feeling this way. I dried off my left arm, my right arm, my left leg, my right leg, then my back, and then my front. However, an hour or two later, the guilty feeling was back. Write down the thing you want to confess, or the horrible thought and level it from 0 to 100. Pasted as rich text. I thought the confessing had gone away for good, because I didn't experience any symptoms for more than 10 years. And I can’t not confess. That was the beginning; I just didn't know it yet. I'm having a terrible time with my OCD lately -- I confess things every day to my boyfriend, & feel terrible about myself. I think it's another classic sign of OCD. Restore formatting, × What are intrusive thoughts? Being armed with the knowledge that I have OCD doesn't mean I have it all figured out. I knew I wasn't supposed to do that, so I decided that must be the reason I was feeling bad. OCD confessing is like washing your hands twenty times in a row. We rarely go out on dates anymore, because the whole time we’re out, I’m confessing a thought I’ve had. But if not, delay again. 135; 15-10-2020; … They come back saying, “but” - “what if” - “I’m a monster” - “it can’t be ocd” - “I like it”..... Its ocd folks. Confessing to my boyfriend worked for a little while, but then it stopped working altogether. But you’ve got to have faith in yourself and be ok with sitting with the anxiety without confessing. If I touch my genitals (not in a sexual way) just in general if I’m lying in bed or something, if I’ve scrolled past an image on social media of a guy it will stick in my head and I’ll convince myself I am doing it over that image! I literally feel so sick of myself at the moment I just want to STOP!! Much appreciated, It is hard. I hope that your boyfriend is understanding, he sounds like a good guy and I’m sure that he will be. I’ve had nearly 30 years of this, so I don’t always take my own advice do I , Don't know if you mean the same as me but i have been incapable of lying for the last 20 years now. When I came up with something, I called my mom and told her. I've made big changes in my life that have helped: I rarely drink, and it's even rarer that you'll actually see me drunk. But in the days, weeks, and months that followed, the ritual didn't always leave me feeling "right." I have no idea where I would have gone, but thankfully I stopped when I heard my mom say "Nay?" The OCD sufferer’s compulsive need to confess is the result of false guilt brought on by unfounded doubt that he or she has done something wrong. The clue is in the forum name. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. 0 being the least amount of anxiety and 100 being the most. What people feel the need to be reassured about varies, but there are often consistent themes for each individual. He can’t understand why I feel the need to tell him he thinks it should just be easy to keep it to myself because he can no problem but I can’t fully get him to understand how I feel inside x, @cashewnutsandraisins hi and thank you, no you have helped and I appreciate your reply to me! I couldn't work, I couldn't eat, and I could barely get out of bed. Thank you I will try and am trying my hardest but it’s so difficult I think I will try your advice of leaving it for an hour and seeing if it still seems like such a big problem! It may be easier to educate yourself but harder to accept the diagnosis with compassion. 23/11/20, by Terry Carter My mom came to stay with my boyfriend and me because they were both so worried about me. Thanks for reading, sorry this is kind of long. I turned to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and guilt I was feeling. Work at Building Trust It is not uncommon for people with OCD to hide the nature or severity of their symptoms from others—especially those they may be engaged with romantically —for fear of embarrassment and rejection. Do you have OCD? It will be an uphill battle because you keep doing it snd now it's ingrained. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. Being diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder has been extremely complicated. My boyfriend can’t understand why I find it so hard not to! It wasn't until later — when I Googled "OCD confessing" and found pages and pages of people explaining experiencing situations exactly like mine — that I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Anxiety is a very large part of OCD, to the point that it is classified as an anxiety disorder. Like @PolarBear says though, the only way to get over it is to stop. OCD is a tricky beast. In the days that followed, my body filled with an emotion I could only describe as guilt. There are two subtypes of this OCD. I relied a lot when my sexuality OCD and relationship OCD started on telling my boyfriend as a way of alleviating how I felt. Your link has been automatically embedded. Here’s an explanation of what OCD is, and what its symptoms are: Someone suffering from OCD will have an obsession. When I was 11, I woke up in the middle of the night after having a dream that the world was ending. Chels, July 31, 2020 in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I feel so guilty for my thoughts because I feel like I’m doing something wrong and I literally CAN NOT stop confessing! What causes them? But to me it’s the most difficult thing ever! When I thought of something to confess, I immediately found my mom and told her what I had done. As an 11-year-old, there wasn't anything I was doing that truly warranted confessing, so she would lightly chastise me, and I would feel better for a while, only to be plagued later on when I was alone with my thoughts. When the hour is up, reassess if you feel you need to do it. My OCD grabbed hold of my brain and had me convinced I was going to go crazy and end up alone in a mad house. My last was exactly this. I've tried my hardest to stop as I've come to realise that a) it's a compulsion and I'll only prolong the agony and b) I did start to feel guilty over sharing this stuff with my boyfriend and the thought of him having to hear what's going on in my head, even if it's not actually factual things. I worry excessively about things. by Monica Sisavat I don’t even have any ifs or buts because I know it’s what I need to do if I want to move forward and unstick myself from this habit! ”does it mean I’m” doesn’t matter, stop! My OCD is far from fixed, but the important thing for me is that it is fixable. I’ve been confessing and confessing and confessing to things that make me feel guilty. Intrusive thoughts, images or impulses that occur over and over aga… sometimes develops. One day I can learn to live with it dream that the world was ending the death of a event... On this anyone has any advice on that scale was n't pretty addition to ``,. Second time what it is classified as an anxiety disorder like @ PolarBear says though, the feeling... The next night, and I needed to get rid of it but... It so hard not to past all you can slow things down and you can slow things and... 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